i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My ATM looks so different sober.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
