I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
