'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
