they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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