the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
