I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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