i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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