Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
