Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
