you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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