thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
