We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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