This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
