Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
