wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think we might need a safe word for this...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
