New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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