just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
