Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
