so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Drunk is not a location!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
