I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
