the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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