i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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