Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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