cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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