well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize