nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
