need another drink. this is the easiest way
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
