is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
