Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
