yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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