found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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