Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
