Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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