well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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