Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If its not for food we ain't going out.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
