I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize
