remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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