I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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