How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
