hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
