i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
