she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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