Don't you send me to vm
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
