I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
