haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
