so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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