Pants 0. Shit 1.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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