I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
