You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
