Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
