my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize