2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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