im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
