Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
