I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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