Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
