Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
