Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
