She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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