i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
